Unworthy

Travis — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:50:51 +0000

You know… this past week has been a tremendous burden on my soul for some reason. All these little things have been piling up; from clingy friends to absent ones… stubborn siblings to child-like employers. God has been here, though. Through most of it, He has supported me and given me the grace to keep my chin up and do what He would truly want me to do: not condemning and complaining but selflessly serving.

But all of a sudden, tonight, right before I’m supposed to be a Christ-like example to some great kids, everything finally catches up to me. I’m sitting here, wondering… why?

Then comes God, again to save my day. He reminds me of Christ on the cross. Bearing every single one of our selfish, tiny burdens. Here I am, with maybe.. 6, tops. And I’m dragging my feet and refusing to lift a smile. Christ died for this. He died, carrying all of this already. He took not only my 6 burdens of the week, but every one I’ve ever had and will have; every one everyone has ever had. And He still had the grace to forgive me for it. I can’t even imagine the LOVE it took to do that.

Christ is love… and grace… and freedom… God, I’m so unworthy. So here, I sit in quiet reverence and deep sorrow for a savior… Gratitude.

I Just Know

Travis — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 06:11:58 +0000

You know? I think I just got a glimpse of what it’s supposed to be about: living life, loving a room mate, being brutally, comically honest and just knowing that God is using every word we say to each other. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m growing up, being real and not hiding from my purpose. I find myself believing the antithesis of these hopes too often, and I’m so grateful that God graces me with the times that remind me that He IS working inside me. He IS growing and shaping me. All of my prayers and hopes to be obedient and moldable are not in vain! What a relief.

Alex:

I really do appreciate and love you for accepting me and wanting to live with me from the start. God has used you countless times to slap me in the face and tell me what’s up. You inspire me to be greater and better. Despite all the struggles with your sometimes overwhelming personality, I know I don’t have to be intimidated by your knowledge, nor do I have to feel like I should be as good or better than you. Because I know it’s not about that at all… It’s about what we had tonight. That true, deep, honest, spectacular, unconditional love. I’m SO blessed to know you how I do. I only hope I’ve made an impact on you half as much as you have changed my life.

Love,

Travis

But anyways… tonight, I just know. God doesn’t look at all the ways that I fail, but He reminds me of all the ways He succeeds. Luckily, I get to see the ways that I’m involved in, so that I, in turn, am filled with a hope for the future, for my future and His. I just know He is working and moving for the better of my heart and soul.

God:

I’m telling you now that I will know you more. I don’t mean to be bossy, but I say that not so much that you hear it, but that I hear it. Really as I pray to you, I’m just telling myself about all of the things you’ve already worked in my heart. So thank you for that. Thank you for blessing me with hardship. I want to know you more through the difficult times. Because those times make the most difference, when I can see you, and lean on you just a little bit more when it’s rough. Thanks for loving me!

Your Son,

Travis

I guess I just want to get these things down so I don’t forget them. Either way, I just know that I’m headed in the right path!

Simply hoping…

-Travis

Simply Hope

Unworthy

I Just Know